Doubtful joy

Concept by Ruthie Snoke
Devised by Elena Campbell, Emma Clark, Gina Grandi, Crystal Gulley, Christopher Ritz-Totten, and Kelly Sloan

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Synopsis

What does it mean to lose someone? How do we understand death? When does our experience become painful, bittersweet, awkward, or even humorous? How does the phenomenon of death unite us all? DOUBTFUL JOY is an original theatre piece that uses personal story, poetry, song, movement, and shadow puppetry to explore a topic that not only unites us all, but enables us to laugh, cry, and hear each other.

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Performance History

June 2015:  Amiche Artists Festival, Pittsburgh
December 2014:  New York University, New York City

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It is the final goodbye
To the walk-run-skip-jump
Of a being that can move
A silencing of the vocal chords
That can no longer produce
Melodic vibration
A cessation of your creation in the now
An inauguration into the "I knew her when's."

It's an ending,
Simply put - 
You're no longer there as you were
Your skin will disappear - 
Now I can only touch what we've erected
To hold the space you once occupied 
In our lives.
I can talk to you,
But no longer can I expect a reply.

Now that I think on it - 
It isn't even a goodbye,
It happens whether or not
We acknowledge it,
Whether or not we are 
"Ready for it,"
Whether or not we had the chance
To give it that passage.

Maybe it isn't even an ending -
An ending of what?
We must define our terms.
Exactly what is ending,
And what is not?
Therein death is fragmented - 
Maybe it's transformation?

It's the only thing that is absolutely certain
From the moment we are born
That one day our hearts will cease to pump blood
And our organs will fail
And our lungs will no longer need air.

And maybe that's all it is or needs to be
As human kind - 
When blood stops circulating
For good.